Running Makes A Life Worth Living
One of my Facebook memories for today came from 2011 when I ran my first Greenboro Run Club 5k practice run in 35 minutes. I feel like I’ve come a long way since that day, in more ways than just my pace.
When I reflect on the last 7 years I realize I’ve experienced a miscarriage, carried and birthed a baby boy, 4 cross-country moves, watched my stepkids graduate from high school, sent two little kids off to school, started a business, made new friends and reunited with old ones, and transformed my life into something new and exciting. One thing that has been constant throughout all of this change is running.
I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I once failed a math test in Grade 5 and my perfectionist nature got the better of me and I couldn’t cope: I cried myself into a migraine and went home from school sick. That fact that I remember the test was on percentages and was printed on blue paper shows how deep an impact it had. I’ve been through several rounds of counseling and I’ve taken medication. I’ve read all the books and even consulted with alternative therapists. I’ve learned to really tune into who I am and what sets me off.
I struggled with the darkness that loomed overhead for a majority of my life and running has cleared the clouds for me. I look back on the last 7 years and am so thankful for the freedom each step has allowed me to experience. I find myself a little more each time I lace up and hit the trail. Each run is a cathartic experience for me and I release the negativity and anxiety with each bead of sweat. I push up the hills and across finish lines with a new sense of the person I’m becoming.
A few days ago my mom asked me, with a note of disbelief in her voice, if I truly enjoy running.
Running is my therapy these days. I run outside and breathe the fresh air and feel the sun on my skin and the earth beneath my feet. I can think about everything or absolutely nothing! I listen to music that inspires my pace and I push myself to reach new goals and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other because that’s what life is, isn’t it? Getting up each morning and putting one foot in front of the other. Always moving forward.
One of those goals is to run the half marathon at the Valley Harvest Marathon on October 7th this year. It will be an important 21.1k for me as every step I take will be a reminder that I lost a pregnancy and survived. That I wandered in the darkness but found the sun. That I’ve struggled with anxiety but I’m excited for what comes next. Every step I take reminds me of how good it feels to be moving forward. Every step is worth taking just like every life is worth living.